You're getting there!
You seem to be on the brink of a very sweet idea. Like an Evenescene type of song, if you know what kind of band they are. If not, you're basically on the brink to some sweet classical pieces mixed with some upbeat drums. It's not a bad idea, but it's seems too bassy for what you're trying to do. Seriously, if you want that heavenly part to it, the bass has either got to have one part by itself, like a solo, or very quiet, it can't rule over the main melody.
-It is missing something, but it's hard to put a finger on it as well. I could guess forever though. How 'bout a part with no drums and just the synths for the chorus part just playing, and the drums build back into it, and add some electric guitar to the song. Another countermelody or two would be nice as well. A sound change in the drums would be appropriate as well, as it doesn't seem to enhance the song with what you've got.
-Not bad though, come rate some of my techno, you're bound to love it!
-SuperDrummer146