Hmm...
First impression: Okay, I looked at some of your other songs, and they're much better than this. Your beginning was terrible, and showed your lack of music theory compared to the rest of this song, and your better songs. You've got to keep some good flow going, interrupting that flow is just a nightmare of music.
Look, you CAN have the self-discipline to make your future songs even better. The only discipline is self-discipline. Work at it, care about it, and remember it like this, "All the parts of the song have to have an A+. If your musical accuracy and rhythm are great, but the dynamics/feeling/or something, that one thing that the song is just missing, it isn't an A+."
-Keep it up, you have A LOT of potential you don't know about.
(btw, i vote teh fiven : )
\m/_SuperDrummer146_\m/
Check my audio, especially "Dreamerz: Falling Into Time"
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/view.php?id=1184995&sub=620
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